"They're on the move" Nikki said casually as her and Ethan rode in the car across town.
Ethan sighed. "The three of them should be kept busy with that key for a little while I'm sure. Hey do you think the blood splatter is a nice touch on the front of the car there?"
Nikki glanced out the window at the hood before shrugging. "I could go either way on it. Its nice contrast of colors but when it dries its not going to look so good anymore."
Ethan sighed. "You're right, I'll fix it" He then veered the car into someones yard who just happen to have their sprinklers on. The water sprayed the car and before long, water was dripping from everywhere but the splatter was gone.
"Hey Ethan, maybe you can close the windows next time you do something like that!" Nikki said as she started to squeeze the water out of her hair.
Ethan nodded. "Maybe.......Maybe Not"
Returning to the road, they continued to head across town. It wasn't more then a few minutes before they pulled up to a run down apartment. The windows were barred up and multiple signs of half a dozen security companies advertising that this property was protected by them. Ethan laughed. "Zane was always obsessed with security."
Nikki smirked "Prepare for ramming speed!" Ethan pulled the car around to face part of the fence surrounding the property. There was a good bit of distance between the car and the fence, enough for decent acceleration and ramming speed. "Commence!" she yelled followed by Ethan flooring the gas pedal. A few seconds later, the car went soaring through the fence landing miraculously on its wheels in the yard.
Zane came running out of the apartment with his hands in the air. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Ethan stuck his head out the open window and said "We were trying to get in to your yard."
Zane's jaw dropped a little bit before saying "Not only is it unlocked but the damn gate is wide open leading into the yard". He pointed at the open gate a couple yards away from the new hole in the fence Ethan's car had just created.
Ethan looked over at the gate and then back at Zane. "There's no showmanship in using the gate, is there?"
Zane groaned. "Fine! What do you want anyways?"
Ethan got out of the car and moved to the trunk. "Your services have been less then satisfactory" he said as he pulled the rocket launcher out of the trunk and fired it at the front window of the apartment. Zane dove out of the way as the rocket passed within a foot of him. The rocket exploded creating a huge hole in the side of the building.
An alarm immediately started to sound. After a couple seconds, a rope made of tied together sheets descended rapidly out of the hole. Moments later, three cats came climbing down the rope and darted to the car. Nikki opened the passenger door and the cats climbed into the back seat.
"I was only watching them as a favor for that woman that was at your house" Zane said as he got up from the ground. "At least I thought it was your house. In hind sight, she did act strangely the whole time I was there."
Ethan laughed. "Yeah Anna is the evil twin of my wife, they look exactly alike. Except for the goatee. My wife is out of town this week and Anna was just taking advantage of that fact."
Zane walked over to the car to face Ethan directly. "I'll be over tommorrow to pick up that body."
Ethan replied "We've got three now, I trust you'll be able to help us with that."
Zane nodded. "Do me a favor and use the gate on your way out."
Ethan nodded and climbed back into the car. He spun the car around in the yard kicking up dirt as it went and drove the car out the open gate.
Nikki laughed, pointed to the back seat and said "Cleopatra wants to know what took you so long?"
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Chapter 11: Knocking, Keys, and Killers
There was a knock at Amber's door again. This time though, Anna called from the other side
"Amber, its us, Anna and Millie" Amber unlocked the door and peeked out to verify they were really out there.
"Come in, what took you so long to get here?" Amber asked suspiciously "You said you were on your way over last night."
Anna replied "Yeah I had to go pick up Millie and we got the car stuck in a plot hole all night."
Amber sighed, it was a valid excuse to say the least. "Oh yeah and we did find that your landlord was taken out by a hit and run though his body is still missing. Judging from the blood trail, he's probably still attached to the vehicle that struck him."
Millie at this point was cheerfully walking around the apartment touching everything on the bookshelves and tables. Amber watched her carefully for a few moments before saying "Millie, dear? Sit down somewhere, you're getting person all over my stuff." Millie looked over with a pout, letting her hands drop to her sides with clenched fist and stomped her foot before sitting in the corner.
Amber looked back over at Anna. "So I've run some analysis on the key that Ethan gave me. He said I would know where to use it and I have a pretty good idea where to try it. The key holds a powerful enchantment which has some sort of wards against discovering the true nature of the enchantment. All I know is, this key radiates with a severe aura I have not seen before."
Anna looked very interested. "Judging from the glow, I'd say it was radioactive. Do you think its dangerous to handle?"
"I doubt it, Ethan had it kept in his pocket and didn't seem the least bit concerned. So far I haven't felt any negative effects from it either, which doesn't exactly mean anything since they could be subtle and unnoticeable. Millie, did Ethan act strange during the game yesterday?"
Millie looked up and broke her pout long enough to say "No he was acting pretty normal though he came closer to killing us yesterday then he's come in a while. One day he might actually succeed." She then resumed pouting with her arms crossed in the corner.
Amber frowned. "No help, well looks like we better gear up." She walked over to a pile of wooden weapons shaped like scimitars, daggers, and swords and picked one up. "These will do"
Millie said "How are wooden blunt weapons going to help us where we're going?" Amber smashed the weapon against the wall shattering the wood into tiny splinters only to reveal a glimmering sharp blade within. Millie simply replied "Oh" and picked up the dagger smashing it against the wall and receiving the same effect.
Anna picked up the bastard sword in a similar fashion, smashing and revealing the true weapon within. "This is symbolic of the real strength inside us all."
Amber said "Yeah either that or I was trying to hide them from the landlord. He had a strict policy against weapons in the building. I guess he won't be giving me a hard time about these any more. We'll take my car, lets go."
The trio attached their weapons to their belts and made their way out the door. One of Amber's neighbors got too nosy about the weapons and Amber had to cap him real quick with her gat before depositing it in one of her neighbors open car windows and placing a quick call to the police. "Crime is so bad in this neighborhood" she said as she spray painted "I'm guilty of manslaughter" on the windshield of the neighbor's vehicle.
"Lets go"
"Amber, its us, Anna and Millie" Amber unlocked the door and peeked out to verify they were really out there.
"Come in, what took you so long to get here?" Amber asked suspiciously "You said you were on your way over last night."
Anna replied "Yeah I had to go pick up Millie and we got the car stuck in a plot hole all night."
Amber sighed, it was a valid excuse to say the least. "Oh yeah and we did find that your landlord was taken out by a hit and run though his body is still missing. Judging from the blood trail, he's probably still attached to the vehicle that struck him."
Millie at this point was cheerfully walking around the apartment touching everything on the bookshelves and tables. Amber watched her carefully for a few moments before saying "Millie, dear? Sit down somewhere, you're getting person all over my stuff." Millie looked over with a pout, letting her hands drop to her sides with clenched fist and stomped her foot before sitting in the corner.
Amber looked back over at Anna. "So I've run some analysis on the key that Ethan gave me. He said I would know where to use it and I have a pretty good idea where to try it. The key holds a powerful enchantment which has some sort of wards against discovering the true nature of the enchantment. All I know is, this key radiates with a severe aura I have not seen before."
Anna looked very interested. "Judging from the glow, I'd say it was radioactive. Do you think its dangerous to handle?"
"I doubt it, Ethan had it kept in his pocket and didn't seem the least bit concerned. So far I haven't felt any negative effects from it either, which doesn't exactly mean anything since they could be subtle and unnoticeable. Millie, did Ethan act strange during the game yesterday?"
Millie looked up and broke her pout long enough to say "No he was acting pretty normal though he came closer to killing us yesterday then he's come in a while. One day he might actually succeed." She then resumed pouting with her arms crossed in the corner.
Amber frowned. "No help, well looks like we better gear up." She walked over to a pile of wooden weapons shaped like scimitars, daggers, and swords and picked one up. "These will do"
Millie said "How are wooden blunt weapons going to help us where we're going?" Amber smashed the weapon against the wall shattering the wood into tiny splinters only to reveal a glimmering sharp blade within. Millie simply replied "Oh" and picked up the dagger smashing it against the wall and receiving the same effect.
Anna picked up the bastard sword in a similar fashion, smashing and revealing the true weapon within. "This is symbolic of the real strength inside us all."
Amber said "Yeah either that or I was trying to hide them from the landlord. He had a strict policy against weapons in the building. I guess he won't be giving me a hard time about these any more. We'll take my car, lets go."
The trio attached their weapons to their belts and made their way out the door. One of Amber's neighbors got too nosy about the weapons and Amber had to cap him real quick with her gat before depositing it in one of her neighbors open car windows and placing a quick call to the police. "Crime is so bad in this neighborhood" she said as she spray painted "I'm guilty of manslaughter" on the windshield of the neighbor's vehicle.
"Lets go"
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Chapter 10: Repairs, Rocket Launchers, and Rescues
Ethan awoke with a start. He was being tapped on the shoulder. Nikki whispered in his ear "Get up already, time's a wasting!"
"Another few minutes" Ethan muttered as he started to drift off to sleep again. It wasn't until he felt a pillow being held against his face that he awoke again. "Alright alright, I'm up Nikki" he said through the pillow which sounded a lot more muffled then it was coherent.
"Get dressed and lets go already, we don't have all day" Nikki said aloud. She was lying. There was no rush. She had a good idea what the time line was and they were not in any immediate rush. Ethan probably also knew this as well but Nikki just got restless if Ethan slept in too late.
"So Nikki, whats the plan today exactly?"
"Well first we have to get rid of the three bodies" she said.
"Three, why three?" Ethan asked quite confused.
"Well besides the obvious one stuck to the front of the car and the postman rotting on your porch steps, remember that we never did get that lawyer to dispose of the body in the back of the car."
"Oh yeah, remember our official story. He crawled into the trunk and died. He was definitely not backed over intentionally, twice.
She sighed. "Lets get a move on." They both went outside and pulled the body off the front of the car dragging it into the empty salt mine underneath the house. They tossed it in the corner before returning outside to gather the body from the staircase. Finally they grabbed the body in the trunk and put it in the pile they had formed in the corner.
Ethan's cellphone started to ring as the two of them closed the doors to the mine and walked back into the house. He answered it suspiciously. Nikki was very amused only hearing one side of the conversation.
"Hello? ....
Oh hi ....
yes she's here too...
You're what?....
Yeah I heard.....
No from Nikki.......
Oh yeah?......
Yes I realize that......
Where did you get a phone from anyways?.....
Out of a toaster? Wow I had no idea......
Sure I could stop by......
I don't think that will be necessary, and besides where would I get one of those.......
no let me check, hold on a sec"
Ethan walked over to the room across the hall from the bedroom and pulled a rocket launcher out of the closet.
"Yeah I found it, where did it come from?......
Russia, so what they just giving these things away?.......
They are. And you ordered this online?.......
Wow free shipping, cool. What's it for? .........
Just in case what?.....
This hardly classifies as that.....
I don't know, that seems a little extreme don't you think?.....
You want to send a message?.......
Sure that would be dramatic, someone might get hurt though......
That's the idea? Yeah fine I'll bring it, but I'm not going to use it.......
Do you even have a permit?.....
You do? Oh yeah here it is....
I'm sure that's still illegal.....
Yes I know they'd never convict you.....
Sure but only when we're driving away if you really want to.....
Also bring what?......
Actually we ate the last of that last night......
Sure after we pick you up, where does he live....
Yeah I know the place, we'll be over in a few minutes......
Yes death to the infidels......
Ok bye bye"
Ethan hung up the phone and said to Nikki, "Slight change of plan."
Nikki nodded. It was going to be another long day.
"Another few minutes" Ethan muttered as he started to drift off to sleep again. It wasn't until he felt a pillow being held against his face that he awoke again. "Alright alright, I'm up Nikki" he said through the pillow which sounded a lot more muffled then it was coherent.
"Get dressed and lets go already, we don't have all day" Nikki said aloud. She was lying. There was no rush. She had a good idea what the time line was and they were not in any immediate rush. Ethan probably also knew this as well but Nikki just got restless if Ethan slept in too late.
"So Nikki, whats the plan today exactly?"
"Well first we have to get rid of the three bodies" she said.
"Three, why three?" Ethan asked quite confused.
"Well besides the obvious one stuck to the front of the car and the postman rotting on your porch steps, remember that we never did get that lawyer to dispose of the body in the back of the car."
"Oh yeah, remember our official story. He crawled into the trunk and died. He was definitely not backed over intentionally, twice.
She sighed. "Lets get a move on." They both went outside and pulled the body off the front of the car dragging it into the empty salt mine underneath the house. They tossed it in the corner before returning outside to gather the body from the staircase. Finally they grabbed the body in the trunk and put it in the pile they had formed in the corner.
Ethan's cellphone started to ring as the two of them closed the doors to the mine and walked back into the house. He answered it suspiciously. Nikki was very amused only hearing one side of the conversation.
"Hello? ....
Oh hi ....
yes she's here too...
You're what?....
Yeah I heard.....
No from Nikki.......
Oh yeah?......
Yes I realize that......
Where did you get a phone from anyways?.....
Out of a toaster? Wow I had no idea......
Sure I could stop by......
I don't think that will be necessary, and besides where would I get one of those.......
no let me check, hold on a sec"
Ethan walked over to the room across the hall from the bedroom and pulled a rocket launcher out of the closet.
"Yeah I found it, where did it come from?......
Russia, so what they just giving these things away?.......
They are. And you ordered this online?.......
Wow free shipping, cool. What's it for? .........
Just in case what?.....
This hardly classifies as that.....
I don't know, that seems a little extreme don't you think?.....
You want to send a message?.......
Sure that would be dramatic, someone might get hurt though......
That's the idea? Yeah fine I'll bring it, but I'm not going to use it.......
Do you even have a permit?.....
You do? Oh yeah here it is....
I'm sure that's still illegal.....
Yes I know they'd never convict you.....
Sure but only when we're driving away if you really want to.....
Also bring what?......
Actually we ate the last of that last night......
Sure after we pick you up, where does he live....
Yeah I know the place, we'll be over in a few minutes......
Yes death to the infidels......
Ok bye bye"
Ethan hung up the phone and said to Nikki, "Slight change of plan."
Nikki nodded. It was going to be another long day.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Chapter 9: Confinement, Comrades, and Cooling Units
Day 1: Forced captivity
My comrades and I have found ourselves in quite a bind this time. The deviant one had shown up earlier today at our residence and cornered each of separately. Upon our capture, we were loaded into a restrictive cell of some sort to be transported to an alternative unknown location.
The deviant one procured some sort of transport from a citizen outside and moved us to a supposed meeting location for a drop off. The pickup man arrived soon after, in which the deviant one gave him specific orders on our detainment. If we ever get out of this one, I'll find the means to place a dagger in her back soon enough. I doubt she realizes the potential and training we hold. Out of the deviant ones hands, we were still unable to find a way out of the cell we had been placed in.
Traveling for what seemed like an eternity, my comrades and I arrived at our new prison. Strangely enough, as soon as we were in the place, the transport man released us. Perhaps this is one of those prisons that is inescapable, we shall see though. My comrades share the same optimism as I and we've already begun to scope the place out for weaknesses and exploits.
Comrade Ly was quick to located an excellent spot that overlooked the rest of the prison and began to gather intel. She paid special attention to the transport man because he could throw a wrench in our plans if he knows too much. Perhaps we'll have to distract him so he doesn't get too curious about our efforts.
Comrade Ki took note of how interested the transport man was in us. She felt that she should take a little of the heat off of us. She started to fake good behavior to throw off the transport man. He seems to be sticking around even after we were dropped off here. Perhaps he is the warden of this prison. No doubt with budgeting cut backs, everyone has to carry extra responsibilities around here. We may have to take care of him soon since he seems suspicious of our activities.
My job, being the smallest, was to scope out the rest of the prison. I analyzed security concerns as best I could. I was able to tap the phones which were strangely enough, unguarded. I suspect a trap or at the least listening devices. All I had to do was learn the basic layout of the place for further action. I reported all the information back to my comrades. While I was talking to comrade Ly, the warden caught sight of us speaking so we just played innocent till his gaze fell elsewhere.
We worked on a plan in secret until one was decided upon. We laid low till it was time to enact our first plan. Comrade Ly was to follow the warden around and distract him. With him distracted in one of the other holding areas, Comrade Ki and I got to work. We grabbed different holding areas and began to place traps.
Much later after the warden was resting, we felt it was time to take him out. I found a large cooling unit hanging precariously over his head. I was able to work the cooling unit to the edge of its shelf and sent it down upon the warden. There must have been a misjudge in trajectory because although the cooling unit landed upon him, it did not seem to be fatal.
The warden seemed a little taken back, and in this confusion I was able to take a location somewhere else so he wouldn't suspect it was me. He looked over at us suspiciously and we just tried to look as innocent as possible. He seemed distracted by the work that Comrade was doing in the other holding area but didn't seem interested enough to investigate luckily.
The warden began to nap again shortly there after. I knew another attempt on his life would gather too much attention so we moved on to another part of our plan while the night was still young.
Day 2: Forced Captivity
After getting a quick nap, my comrades and I managed to get the finishing touches done on one of our most elaborate traps over in another area. We were in the middle of another strategy talk when the warden showed up. We dispersed in opposite directions to throw him off. He seemed confused about which one of us to pursue because he just stood there.
The food in the mess hall was nothing to be excited about but I'd had worst too. My comrades and I each got our fill while one of us would stand guard. By this point, we had begun to wonder where all the other prisoners were. We were unable to find any in our sweeps of the facility. The warden seemed a little inexperienced in his dealing with us, so maybe this was a new facility and we were the first of many captives.
One other hope stood in the back our heads. Our capture had occurred when the twins were out, perhaps they would arrive at the residence and find my comrades and I missing and send help. They were very resourceful together and would no doubt be diligent about our prompt return. But just in case, perhaps I can whip up a communication device from some of the appliances in the mess hall.
My comrades and I have found ourselves in quite a bind this time. The deviant one had shown up earlier today at our residence and cornered each of separately. Upon our capture, we were loaded into a restrictive cell of some sort to be transported to an alternative unknown location.
The deviant one procured some sort of transport from a citizen outside and moved us to a supposed meeting location for a drop off. The pickup man arrived soon after, in which the deviant one gave him specific orders on our detainment. If we ever get out of this one, I'll find the means to place a dagger in her back soon enough. I doubt she realizes the potential and training we hold. Out of the deviant ones hands, we were still unable to find a way out of the cell we had been placed in.
Traveling for what seemed like an eternity, my comrades and I arrived at our new prison. Strangely enough, as soon as we were in the place, the transport man released us. Perhaps this is one of those prisons that is inescapable, we shall see though. My comrades share the same optimism as I and we've already begun to scope the place out for weaknesses and exploits.
Comrade Ly was quick to located an excellent spot that overlooked the rest of the prison and began to gather intel. She paid special attention to the transport man because he could throw a wrench in our plans if he knows too much. Perhaps we'll have to distract him so he doesn't get too curious about our efforts.
Comrade Ki took note of how interested the transport man was in us. She felt that she should take a little of the heat off of us. She started to fake good behavior to throw off the transport man. He seems to be sticking around even after we were dropped off here. Perhaps he is the warden of this prison. No doubt with budgeting cut backs, everyone has to carry extra responsibilities around here. We may have to take care of him soon since he seems suspicious of our activities.
My job, being the smallest, was to scope out the rest of the prison. I analyzed security concerns as best I could. I was able to tap the phones which were strangely enough, unguarded. I suspect a trap or at the least listening devices. All I had to do was learn the basic layout of the place for further action. I reported all the information back to my comrades. While I was talking to comrade Ly, the warden caught sight of us speaking so we just played innocent till his gaze fell elsewhere.
We worked on a plan in secret until one was decided upon. We laid low till it was time to enact our first plan. Comrade Ly was to follow the warden around and distract him. With him distracted in one of the other holding areas, Comrade Ki and I got to work. We grabbed different holding areas and began to place traps.
Much later after the warden was resting, we felt it was time to take him out. I found a large cooling unit hanging precariously over his head. I was able to work the cooling unit to the edge of its shelf and sent it down upon the warden. There must have been a misjudge in trajectory because although the cooling unit landed upon him, it did not seem to be fatal.
The warden seemed a little taken back, and in this confusion I was able to take a location somewhere else so he wouldn't suspect it was me. He looked over at us suspiciously and we just tried to look as innocent as possible. He seemed distracted by the work that Comrade was doing in the other holding area but didn't seem interested enough to investigate luckily.
The warden began to nap again shortly there after. I knew another attempt on his life would gather too much attention so we moved on to another part of our plan while the night was still young.
Day 2: Forced Captivity
After getting a quick nap, my comrades and I managed to get the finishing touches done on one of our most elaborate traps over in another area. We were in the middle of another strategy talk when the warden showed up. We dispersed in opposite directions to throw him off. He seemed confused about which one of us to pursue because he just stood there.
The food in the mess hall was nothing to be excited about but I'd had worst too. My comrades and I each got our fill while one of us would stand guard. By this point, we had begun to wonder where all the other prisoners were. We were unable to find any in our sweeps of the facility. The warden seemed a little inexperienced in his dealing with us, so maybe this was a new facility and we were the first of many captives.
One other hope stood in the back our heads. Our capture had occurred when the twins were out, perhaps they would arrive at the residence and find my comrades and I missing and send help. They were very resourceful together and would no doubt be diligent about our prompt return. But just in case, perhaps I can whip up a communication device from some of the appliances in the mess hall.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Chapter 8: Welcome Home Party
Ethan and Nikki were well on their way by now. Ethan was trying to avoid the sidewalks this time so as to not attach any unneeded attention to his vehicle. After a while, eventually the police start to respond to the claims and it was getting harder and harder to stay out of trouble with the law these days.
Ethan broke the silence after a few minutes. "I swear that looks like a hand flapping up over the hood of the car every once in a while".
Nikki groaned. "That's because you ran over Amber's landlord as we were leaving."
"He would have wanted to go that way."
Nikki shook her head. "No I think he would have wanted her to pay her rent for once. I don't even know how she made it this long without a shooting spree from him. Speaking of Amber, she's called Anna and Millie over to her place."
"Tell me again sister how are you aware of their actions again?" Ethan inquired.
Nikki responded "I have some connections at the phone company that allow me to get transcripts of their phone conversations texted to my phone."
"Oh right, yet they're not aware of you tapping that network?" he asked genuinely interested.
Nikki laughed. "Actually no, I'm pretty good at doing things undetected. If they ever suspected anything, they'd not be dancing around excitedly in secrecy as they do. Anna was at the house gathering information and was apparently interuppted by Zane. I suspect that you may have given him reason to seek us out."
Ethan smirked. "Well you could say that." Ethan was already starting to feel the effects of being awake too long, letting out a deep yawn. "I can't wait to get home."
"Anna got a cleaning crew out there to make it appear like she wasn't there earlier."
"Those cleaning crews don't usually do that good a job, at least not the ones that Amber uses."
Ethan paused for a moment. "It's a shame I had to give Amber your key."
Nikki frowned. "Why, we have a whole bucket of them in the back seat. They're all identical and practically worthless." She reached in the back seat and grabbed the bucket pulling a handful of keys out.
"So we're pretty much just messing with Amber and her friends?"
"Yeah pretty much!" Nikki laughed.
The trip was almost over when they passed a taxi driver hitchhiking along the side of the road. Soon after, Ethan was pulling into the neighborhood and finally into the driveway. By this point Zane and Anna were long gone, leaving only a practically empty house. "Well its still here" he said.
"With the people we know, that's a small miracle" Nikki said sarcastically.
Ethan and Nikki climbed out of the vehicle and made their way slowly to the front steps. Paul the postman lay face down in a pool of blood on the porch. "Aw would you look at that" Ethan said sadly. "He was always so precise with his deliveries." They both tried to step over him without disturbing anything.
The house was completely dark and no sounds came from within. They turned on some of the lights and looked around the house eventually ending up in the kitchen. Ethan found a few pieces of glass on the kitchen floor though the window itself was still intact.
"Looks like the cleaning crew has already been here". Ethan looked around, "and the cats are missing too"
Nikki frowned. "Oh yeah I forgot to mention, Anna gave them to Zane for a couple days so they wouldn't be able to assist us any."
"Why would she do that, they're just plain old cats, what assistance could they provide us?" Ethan responded. Nikki just rolled her eyes. Ethan groaned. "Suki took my power tools apparently, we probably won't be hearing from Zane ever again then. He's good at spotting traps but Suki has like 100 ranks in Crafting Traps.
By this point, Ethan was getting hungry. "Should I throw something in the microwave for us?" he asked.
Nikki smiled. "Yeah please do."
Ethan grabbed a solid cube of spam from the fridge, placed it on a microwave dish and set the microwave to the vaporize setting for 2 minutes. The room was periodically filled with a plaid shadow as the composition of the spam was altered by temperatures reaching the surface of the sun. After 2 minutes, he opened the door to the microwave and pulled out the plate. The block of spam was no longer there, and in its place was something edible.
"We should watch the surveillance video before we go to bed" Ethan said flipping a switch underneath the kitchen counter. The fridge rotated completely around revealing a set of stairs leading down. Down in the hidden room, all of the monitors came on at once. Ethan started to review all the videos for the night with much interest. He already knew for the most part what happened already thanks to Nikki, but never the less watched Zane get mugged over and over again rewinding and replaying the same part till he lost interest.
Nikki said "Copy that to the internet and send it to everyone we know."
"I'm already on it" Ethan responded immediately.
Coming back up and closing the secret door, they both headed into the bedroom. Nikki said "They're going to be analyzing that key you gave them all night, and that should keep them occupied for a while. I don't figure I'll have to monitor their communications anymore tonight, so got room for one more in that bed?"
Ethan laughed. "You already know the answer to that!"
"I know" she replied.
Ethan added as he turned out the lights, "Tomorrow we'll take care of some loose ends."
Nikki whispered "Understatement."
"What?" Ethan asked.
Nikki laughed. "Nothing, good night"
Ethan broke the silence after a few minutes. "I swear that looks like a hand flapping up over the hood of the car every once in a while".
Nikki groaned. "That's because you ran over Amber's landlord as we were leaving."
"He would have wanted to go that way."
Nikki shook her head. "No I think he would have wanted her to pay her rent for once. I don't even know how she made it this long without a shooting spree from him. Speaking of Amber, she's called Anna and Millie over to her place."
"Tell me again sister how are you aware of their actions again?" Ethan inquired.
Nikki responded "I have some connections at the phone company that allow me to get transcripts of their phone conversations texted to my phone."
"Oh right, yet they're not aware of you tapping that network?" he asked genuinely interested.
Nikki laughed. "Actually no, I'm pretty good at doing things undetected. If they ever suspected anything, they'd not be dancing around excitedly in secrecy as they do. Anna was at the house gathering information and was apparently interuppted by Zane. I suspect that you may have given him reason to seek us out."
Ethan smirked. "Well you could say that." Ethan was already starting to feel the effects of being awake too long, letting out a deep yawn. "I can't wait to get home."
"Anna got a cleaning crew out there to make it appear like she wasn't there earlier."
"Those cleaning crews don't usually do that good a job, at least not the ones that Amber uses."
Ethan paused for a moment. "It's a shame I had to give Amber your key."
Nikki frowned. "Why, we have a whole bucket of them in the back seat. They're all identical and practically worthless." She reached in the back seat and grabbed the bucket pulling a handful of keys out.
"So we're pretty much just messing with Amber and her friends?"
"Yeah pretty much!" Nikki laughed.
The trip was almost over when they passed a taxi driver hitchhiking along the side of the road. Soon after, Ethan was pulling into the neighborhood and finally into the driveway. By this point Zane and Anna were long gone, leaving only a practically empty house. "Well its still here" he said.
"With the people we know, that's a small miracle" Nikki said sarcastically.
Ethan and Nikki climbed out of the vehicle and made their way slowly to the front steps. Paul the postman lay face down in a pool of blood on the porch. "Aw would you look at that" Ethan said sadly. "He was always so precise with his deliveries." They both tried to step over him without disturbing anything.
The house was completely dark and no sounds came from within. They turned on some of the lights and looked around the house eventually ending up in the kitchen. Ethan found a few pieces of glass on the kitchen floor though the window itself was still intact.
"Looks like the cleaning crew has already been here". Ethan looked around, "and the cats are missing too"
Nikki frowned. "Oh yeah I forgot to mention, Anna gave them to Zane for a couple days so they wouldn't be able to assist us any."
"Why would she do that, they're just plain old cats, what assistance could they provide us?" Ethan responded. Nikki just rolled her eyes. Ethan groaned. "Suki took my power tools apparently, we probably won't be hearing from Zane ever again then. He's good at spotting traps but Suki has like 100 ranks in Crafting Traps.
By this point, Ethan was getting hungry. "Should I throw something in the microwave for us?" he asked.
Nikki smiled. "Yeah please do."
Ethan grabbed a solid cube of spam from the fridge, placed it on a microwave dish and set the microwave to the vaporize setting for 2 minutes. The room was periodically filled with a plaid shadow as the composition of the spam was altered by temperatures reaching the surface of the sun. After 2 minutes, he opened the door to the microwave and pulled out the plate. The block of spam was no longer there, and in its place was something edible.
"We should watch the surveillance video before we go to bed" Ethan said flipping a switch underneath the kitchen counter. The fridge rotated completely around revealing a set of stairs leading down. Down in the hidden room, all of the monitors came on at once. Ethan started to review all the videos for the night with much interest. He already knew for the most part what happened already thanks to Nikki, but never the less watched Zane get mugged over and over again rewinding and replaying the same part till he lost interest.
Nikki said "Copy that to the internet and send it to everyone we know."
"I'm already on it" Ethan responded immediately.
Coming back up and closing the secret door, they both headed into the bedroom. Nikki said "They're going to be analyzing that key you gave them all night, and that should keep them occupied for a while. I don't figure I'll have to monitor their communications anymore tonight, so got room for one more in that bed?"
Ethan laughed. "You already know the answer to that!"
"I know" she replied.
Ethan added as he turned out the lights, "Tomorrow we'll take care of some loose ends."
Nikki whispered "Understatement."
"What?" Ethan asked.
Nikki laughed. "Nothing, good night"
Chapter 7: The Unexpected Job
Anna pulled out her phone again and dialed the number on Zane's business card. "Hello, Zane? This is Anna. You know the one who was at the wrong house earlier? Yeah I'm in that taxi right behind you, I need to talk to you. I may have a job for you." She hung up the phone and then immediately swerved the car in front of him, screaching to a halt.
Ethan frowned. He knew this wasn't going to end well. It's not often that potential clients chase him down in stolen taxis. And whenever that did happen, things always got much worse from that point on.
Anna go out and started to speak. "Anyway, you seem like a nice guy, and I have some business to attend to that will have me indisposed for a while. Whatever Suki has planned for you I can get called off if you watch my cats for me? It's just for 2 or 3 days tops."
Already trying to forget the events of the past couple minutes, Zane seemed hesitant about continuing the conversation. But then he though there could be some potential profit in this. Perhaps she will need an attorney or something someday and he'll have managed to have made a good impression with Anna. He saw this as a great business opportunity, so he humored her.
"Ok, Sure, I guess so… But only if you can guarantee the little gray one won't cut me up as soon as you look away". It was obvious he was afraid from the uneasiness in his voice and he did not want to underestimate Anna, that was for sure.
"Oh yes," She replied, "I have them all packed up in packing peanuts in the backseat already."
"Really?" he asked her.
Anna laughed. "No not really, so do you want the job or not?"
He thought for a second. He knew he was going to regret it but she was pretty and really seemed like she wanted his help. Reluctantly he nodded. "Yes."
Anna decided to seal the deal and play up her appreciation. "Oh thank you so much, I don't know what I would do without you." She knew her plans were falling into place. Get the cats over to his house, and let the fun begin. Most likely she wouldn't have to worry about him ever again and the cats would be out of the way for a little bit at least. "You'll have to accept payment after I get back, I haven't a thing on me."
Anna handed him the carrying cases that contained the three cats. "Now remember don't feed them after midnight and don't get them wet." She cautioned "Or they'll try to rent Gremlins at the local video store." After that, Anna got back in the taxi and drove away.
The walk home was uneventful but Zane couldn't help but feel he'd gotten himself in way over his head. He could swear that there was snickering coming from the carrying case the whole way home.
Finally arriving at Zane's home, he opened the case once he was inside and let the cats out. They seemed to make themselves at home almost immediately. Someone had stuck 'Hi My Name Is' stickers on their backs. Tigerlily, the oldest gray cat sat in the middle of the house where she could have a view of the whole house. She stared at Zane wherever he went which made him feel quite uncomfortable. She also never stopped giving him an evil look.
Suki, the black cat walked around like she owned the place, and plopped down in a chair and started licking herself. While Zane was distracted with Suki's performance, the kitten, Cleopatra scoped out the house, analyzing security concerns, tapping the phones, and ran around until she knew the exact layout of the house. Then she came back to relay the information to Tigerlily who looked less then interested the whole time. Zane caught a glimpse of the cats, who immediately stopped meowing to each other and looked at him like he had two heads.
Zane had no idea what was going on. But he was suspicious. He tried to watch them for as long as he could before he got really tired, and eventually went to bed because he had a big day in the morning.
The plan that the cats had been working on was set in motion finally. Tigerlily followed him to bed and laid at his feet. Suki and Cleo disappeared into another room and waited. After a little while, after they were sure Zane was asleep, Suki went into Zane's office while Cleo went into the bedroom.
Suddenly, Zane was awakened by a fan bouncing off of his head. "What the heck?" He scanned the dark room, and could find no movement anywhere. Was someone trying to kill him? He just lay there with horror as the pain in his head still throbbed. Was it a ghost? Tigerlily and Cleo stared at him for a moment before Tigerlily gave him the paw. Meanwhile, there was a banging and falling noise in the other room. What could it be? Zane was too scared to find out. Then the sound of a power drill and hammering. Moments later, silence again.
When Zane awoke the next morning, he noticed all three cats in the kitchen, and they immediately scattered when he entered the room. They were collaborating, he knew it.
The bruise on his head still hurt, and he so he walked over and took some pain killers from the medicine cabinet. Zane knew this was going to be a long day. He thought to himself "Where did that trapdoor in the floor come from? That wasn't there yesterday."
Ethan frowned. He knew this wasn't going to end well. It's not often that potential clients chase him down in stolen taxis. And whenever that did happen, things always got much worse from that point on.
Anna go out and started to speak. "Anyway, you seem like a nice guy, and I have some business to attend to that will have me indisposed for a while. Whatever Suki has planned for you I can get called off if you watch my cats for me? It's just for 2 or 3 days tops."
Already trying to forget the events of the past couple minutes, Zane seemed hesitant about continuing the conversation. But then he though there could be some potential profit in this. Perhaps she will need an attorney or something someday and he'll have managed to have made a good impression with Anna. He saw this as a great business opportunity, so he humored her.
"Ok, Sure, I guess so… But only if you can guarantee the little gray one won't cut me up as soon as you look away". It was obvious he was afraid from the uneasiness in his voice and he did not want to underestimate Anna, that was for sure.
"Oh yes," She replied, "I have them all packed up in packing peanuts in the backseat already."
"Really?" he asked her.
Anna laughed. "No not really, so do you want the job or not?"
He thought for a second. He knew he was going to regret it but she was pretty and really seemed like she wanted his help. Reluctantly he nodded. "Yes."
Anna decided to seal the deal and play up her appreciation. "Oh thank you so much, I don't know what I would do without you." She knew her plans were falling into place. Get the cats over to his house, and let the fun begin. Most likely she wouldn't have to worry about him ever again and the cats would be out of the way for a little bit at least. "You'll have to accept payment after I get back, I haven't a thing on me."
Anna handed him the carrying cases that contained the three cats. "Now remember don't feed them after midnight and don't get them wet." She cautioned "Or they'll try to rent Gremlins at the local video store." After that, Anna got back in the taxi and drove away.
The walk home was uneventful but Zane couldn't help but feel he'd gotten himself in way over his head. He could swear that there was snickering coming from the carrying case the whole way home.
Finally arriving at Zane's home, he opened the case once he was inside and let the cats out. They seemed to make themselves at home almost immediately. Someone had stuck 'Hi My Name Is' stickers on their backs. Tigerlily, the oldest gray cat sat in the middle of the house where she could have a view of the whole house. She stared at Zane wherever he went which made him feel quite uncomfortable. She also never stopped giving him an evil look.
Suki, the black cat walked around like she owned the place, and plopped down in a chair and started licking herself. While Zane was distracted with Suki's performance, the kitten, Cleopatra scoped out the house, analyzing security concerns, tapping the phones, and ran around until she knew the exact layout of the house. Then she came back to relay the information to Tigerlily who looked less then interested the whole time. Zane caught a glimpse of the cats, who immediately stopped meowing to each other and looked at him like he had two heads.
Zane had no idea what was going on. But he was suspicious. He tried to watch them for as long as he could before he got really tired, and eventually went to bed because he had a big day in the morning.
The plan that the cats had been working on was set in motion finally. Tigerlily followed him to bed and laid at his feet. Suki and Cleo disappeared into another room and waited. After a little while, after they were sure Zane was asleep, Suki went into Zane's office while Cleo went into the bedroom.
Suddenly, Zane was awakened by a fan bouncing off of his head. "What the heck?" He scanned the dark room, and could find no movement anywhere. Was someone trying to kill him? He just lay there with horror as the pain in his head still throbbed. Was it a ghost? Tigerlily and Cleo stared at him for a moment before Tigerlily gave him the paw. Meanwhile, there was a banging and falling noise in the other room. What could it be? Zane was too scared to find out. Then the sound of a power drill and hammering. Moments later, silence again.
When Zane awoke the next morning, he noticed all three cats in the kitchen, and they immediately scattered when he entered the room. They were collaborating, he knew it.
The bruise on his head still hurt, and he so he walked over and took some pain killers from the medicine cabinet. Zane knew this was going to be a long day. He thought to himself "Where did that trapdoor in the floor come from? That wasn't there yesterday."
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Chapter 6: Possible Evil Schemes
Anna watched from the window as Zane disappeared down the street as fast as he could. She breathed a sign of relief.
"Well that could have gone better. I am glad he left though. He could have seriously messed up my purpose here. It's so tiring pretending to be crazy. I hate having visitors too, not when I'm working, and especially unexpected ones."
Looking around the kitchen, she found a business card that Zane had left. She reached for her phone and quick dialed her friend Millie.
"Millie, its me...
The dumb lawyer is finally gone...
I don't know, he just showed up while I was trying to snoop around...
I don't think he suspects a thing....
I just needed to talk to someone intelligent, but you'll do I guess...
I kind of figured they'd be on their way home by now...
I better finish up here quick then...
Send a cleaning crew here, I broke a window...
Crazy cat lady means I'm crazy, not the cats....
What the heck kind of cats live here anyways?...
Millie, I have to go, Amber's calling me..."
Anna switched over to Amber's call and switched it to speakerphone so she could sweep up the glass in the kitchen. "Hello this is Anna"
Amber said excitedly. "They were just over and they gave me something. I did a gypsy reading on it and you'll never guess what I found."
Anna then said. "Ok I'll be right over. I have a couple more loose ends to tie up here. Their lawyer or whatever was here looking for them. He tried to use all kinds of lame antics to trick me. I have a plan to eliminate him that will also take care of another problem I'm having."
"Be careful when you get over here. My landlord is trying to collect rent money again." Amber advised "You may need some sort of distraction to get in the apartment uninjured."
Anna thought for a second. "We could ask the Russians to drop another space station maybe."
"Actually I don't think they had more then just the one" Amber answered.
"Really, ok well I'll think of something." Anna tried to think of other distractions she could use.
"Actually it might not be as big an issue. I haven't heard him out there since around the time that Ethan and Nikki left. Perhaps he went in pursuit of them." Amber held a life-sized replica of her head up to the window and waited for the sound of gunfire. "No, I don't think he's out there anymore."
"Ok Amber, I'll be right over. Just have to take care of some business on the way."
Anna hung up the phone and then located the cat carrier in the other room. She quickly as she could rounded up all three cats, the mean old gray one, the black one, and the little gray kitten placing each into the carrier. She then stepped outside with cat carrier in hand. On the way past the mailman, she did a final bow of respect to a fallen master ninja before running down to the end of the driveway.
"I find it surprising how many taxi's run down this dead end street" she thought to herself as she flagged down a taxi. The taxi screeched to a halt inches from her. She pushed the carrier into the backseat before walking around to the driver's door. "I'm going to need to comandeer this vehicle" she said as she flashed her credentials.
The taxi driver asked "Why? And did you just flash me a coupon booklet."
"Too many questions, not enough getting out of the car" Anna said as she pulled the door open and ripped the driver out of the taxi. She climbed into the driver seat and proceeded to speed away leaving the driver dazed on the ground. "Can you believe the nerve of some people?" she muttered to herself as she drove towards the city.
"Well that could have gone better. I am glad he left though. He could have seriously messed up my purpose here. It's so tiring pretending to be crazy. I hate having visitors too, not when I'm working, and especially unexpected ones."
Looking around the kitchen, she found a business card that Zane had left. She reached for her phone and quick dialed her friend Millie.
"Millie, its me...
The dumb lawyer is finally gone...
I don't know, he just showed up while I was trying to snoop around...
I don't think he suspects a thing....
I just needed to talk to someone intelligent, but you'll do I guess...
I kind of figured they'd be on their way home by now...
I better finish up here quick then...
Send a cleaning crew here, I broke a window...
Crazy cat lady means I'm crazy, not the cats....
What the heck kind of cats live here anyways?...
Millie, I have to go, Amber's calling me..."
Anna switched over to Amber's call and switched it to speakerphone so she could sweep up the glass in the kitchen. "Hello this is Anna"
Amber said excitedly. "They were just over and they gave me something. I did a gypsy reading on it and you'll never guess what I found."
Anna then said. "Ok I'll be right over. I have a couple more loose ends to tie up here. Their lawyer or whatever was here looking for them. He tried to use all kinds of lame antics to trick me. I have a plan to eliminate him that will also take care of another problem I'm having."
"Be careful when you get over here. My landlord is trying to collect rent money again." Amber advised "You may need some sort of distraction to get in the apartment uninjured."
Anna thought for a second. "We could ask the Russians to drop another space station maybe."
"Actually I don't think they had more then just the one" Amber answered.
"Really, ok well I'll think of something." Anna tried to think of other distractions she could use.
"Actually it might not be as big an issue. I haven't heard him out there since around the time that Ethan and Nikki left. Perhaps he went in pursuit of them." Amber held a life-sized replica of her head up to the window and waited for the sound of gunfire. "No, I don't think he's out there anymore."
"Ok Amber, I'll be right over. Just have to take care of some business on the way."
Anna hung up the phone and then located the cat carrier in the other room. She quickly as she could rounded up all three cats, the mean old gray one, the black one, and the little gray kitten placing each into the carrier. She then stepped outside with cat carrier in hand. On the way past the mailman, she did a final bow of respect to a fallen master ninja before running down to the end of the driveway.
"I find it surprising how many taxi's run down this dead end street" she thought to herself as she flagged down a taxi. The taxi screeched to a halt inches from her. She pushed the carrier into the backseat before walking around to the driver's door. "I'm going to need to comandeer this vehicle" she said as she flashed her credentials.
The taxi driver asked "Why? And did you just flash me a coupon booklet."
"Too many questions, not enough getting out of the car" Anna said as she pulled the door open and ripped the driver out of the taxi. She climbed into the driver seat and proceeded to speed away leaving the driver dazed on the ground. "Can you believe the nerve of some people?" she muttered to herself as she drove towards the city.
Chapter 5: In the Line of Fire
Amber lived just off campus, and so the trip for Ethan and Nikki was pretty short. They pulled into a parking spot in the parking lot next to Amber's apartment complex. Walking up to the door of Amber's apartment, both Nikki and Ethan couldn't help but notice that the door was riddled with bullet holes. Ethan said "That can't be good."
Nikki scanned the area. "Yeah I see him, sniper on top of the building over there. Can you provide me with cover?"
Ethan said "Well I'm a little rusty with the banjo and I don't know any of your songs so.."
Nikki punched Ethan in the shoulder. "No I don't need to you cover band me, provide cover from the sniper fire!"
Ethan nodded. "Oh right." Ethan pulled the trash can lids off the ground and formed a shield out of them. "OK ready, GO!"
The two of them hiding behind the trash lid shield, moved over to Amber's door and knocked. A voice from within said "There's no one home."
Nikki yelled back "It's us, open up already!"
A couple moments later, the door opened slightly and a pair of eyes looked out. "One moment, I don't have any clothes on." The door closed for another minute or so before reopening. "Come on in" Amber said. "The landlord has been lurking around across the street with a high powered rifle. So if you value your heads, you'll move in quickly."
Ethan and Nikki quickly moved inside and slammed the door behind them. Ethan tossed the trash lids to the side. "You know if you'd pay the rent on time, I doubt he'd be out there making a big fuss" Ethan commented.
"You're supposed to pay rent? Well this sure explains a lot. Though where's the fun in that?" she replied.
He didn't have a good response to that. "Good point." Ethan sat down in a chair near the center of the room. "Sorry to bother you like this but we were on our way home and had to stop in to drop off something." He dug around in his pants pocket for a minute. "It was here earlier, where did I put that damn thing?" He started digging in the back pockets and then in the pockets on his coat. "Son of a..."
Nikki after a few more minutes of watching Ethan pat himself down looking for something, removed her necklace. She then slid a key that was hanging on it off the chain and handed it to Ethan before returning the necklace to her neck. Ethan looked at the key, then handed it to Amber.
"Is this..?" Amber began to say.
"Yeah, it is, don't lose that." Ethan interrupted. "We're all counting on you."
Amber attached the key to her necklace. "Thanks, I suppose I am to take this to the volcano it was forged in and only there can it be truly be destroyed. I'll be pursued every step of the way by endless hoards of baddies and creatures I couldn't possibly defeat on my own. Therefore I'll have to patch together a ragtag band of companions that resemble more a bunch of idiots then actual allies, of which at least half of them will continuously do things to under-mind, back stab, or otherwise hinder my progress as I move towards my ultimate goal?"
Ethan frowned. "Well actually as much fun as that sounds, you're just going to use it to open a door soon."
"Oh OK" Amber responded.
Ethan added "Though that part about your companions being a bunch of idiots is probably still accurate. And yes some of them will probably hinder or undermine you every step of the way. But what are friends for?"
"So I have to ask" Nikki cut in. "If you're a gypsy, why do you live in a house?"
Amber laughed at the question. "Catch up with the times, we still live in tents, but we don't get Internet in the tents. We therefore set up our tents inside houses that can get Internet service. Though its not our style to pay for things, so most of us still don't have Internet."
Ethan said "I did not know that. I learn something new everyday. Well that's all the official business we have here. How are things going?"
"Well as you can probably imagine, I'm not too fond of the landlord out there with the big gun. But otherwise things are going pretty good. I've just about received my degree in Gypsytology at the university, I have another couple more weeks."
"Well Ethan and I should get going, what's the safest way out of here?" Nikki asked. "We'd prefer to be a little more subtle with our exit.
Amber responded "By safest, do you mean the only way you'll probably survive leaving here? That would probably be the trapdoor."
"What trapdoor?" both Nikki and Ethan asked at the same time.
Amber pointed at the floor around where Ethan and Nikki were. "The one underneath you. How convenient." She then pulled a lever in the floor which caused her toaster to explode in a cloud of smoke and burnt bread. "Lets try this again shall we?" She then pulled the lever next to the first one. She watched as the floor gave way underneath Nikki and Ethan sending them down a chute before the floor returned to its normal position. "One of these days, I'm going to get to try that on myself" she said to herself.
Moments later, Nikki and Ethan found themselves on a large pile of newspapers underneath Amber's patio. Ethan said "Damn it."
Nikki asked "What, whats wrong, that didn't hurt at all?"
"I've already read this comic section" he responded before crumpling up that newspaper and tossing it aside. Nikki rolled up a newspaper and bopped Ethan on the head. "Hey!"
The two of them snuck back up to where the car was and quickly go inside. They then sped away as fast as they could. Ethan could have swore he saw a man with a high powered rifle in his hand standing in the road but lost sight of the him moments later. He was distracted by a dull thump as the car drove over something.
"The two events couldn't possibly be related" Ethan thought to himself.
Nikki scanned the area. "Yeah I see him, sniper on top of the building over there. Can you provide me with cover?"
Ethan said "Well I'm a little rusty with the banjo and I don't know any of your songs so.."
Nikki punched Ethan in the shoulder. "No I don't need to you cover band me, provide cover from the sniper fire!"
Ethan nodded. "Oh right." Ethan pulled the trash can lids off the ground and formed a shield out of them. "OK ready, GO!"
The two of them hiding behind the trash lid shield, moved over to Amber's door and knocked. A voice from within said "There's no one home."
Nikki yelled back "It's us, open up already!"
A couple moments later, the door opened slightly and a pair of eyes looked out. "One moment, I don't have any clothes on." The door closed for another minute or so before reopening. "Come on in" Amber said. "The landlord has been lurking around across the street with a high powered rifle. So if you value your heads, you'll move in quickly."
Ethan and Nikki quickly moved inside and slammed the door behind them. Ethan tossed the trash lids to the side. "You know if you'd pay the rent on time, I doubt he'd be out there making a big fuss" Ethan commented.
"You're supposed to pay rent? Well this sure explains a lot. Though where's the fun in that?" she replied.
He didn't have a good response to that. "Good point." Ethan sat down in a chair near the center of the room. "Sorry to bother you like this but we were on our way home and had to stop in to drop off something." He dug around in his pants pocket for a minute. "It was here earlier, where did I put that damn thing?" He started digging in the back pockets and then in the pockets on his coat. "Son of a..."
Nikki after a few more minutes of watching Ethan pat himself down looking for something, removed her necklace. She then slid a key that was hanging on it off the chain and handed it to Ethan before returning the necklace to her neck. Ethan looked at the key, then handed it to Amber.
"Is this..?" Amber began to say.
"Yeah, it is, don't lose that." Ethan interrupted. "We're all counting on you."
Amber attached the key to her necklace. "Thanks, I suppose I am to take this to the volcano it was forged in and only there can it be truly be destroyed. I'll be pursued every step of the way by endless hoards of baddies and creatures I couldn't possibly defeat on my own. Therefore I'll have to patch together a ragtag band of companions that resemble more a bunch of idiots then actual allies, of which at least half of them will continuously do things to under-mind, back stab, or otherwise hinder my progress as I move towards my ultimate goal?"
Ethan frowned. "Well actually as much fun as that sounds, you're just going to use it to open a door soon."
"Oh OK" Amber responded.
Ethan added "Though that part about your companions being a bunch of idiots is probably still accurate. And yes some of them will probably hinder or undermine you every step of the way. But what are friends for?"
"So I have to ask" Nikki cut in. "If you're a gypsy, why do you live in a house?"
Amber laughed at the question. "Catch up with the times, we still live in tents, but we don't get Internet in the tents. We therefore set up our tents inside houses that can get Internet service. Though its not our style to pay for things, so most of us still don't have Internet."
Ethan said "I did not know that. I learn something new everyday. Well that's all the official business we have here. How are things going?"
"Well as you can probably imagine, I'm not too fond of the landlord out there with the big gun. But otherwise things are going pretty good. I've just about received my degree in Gypsytology at the university, I have another couple more weeks."
"Well Ethan and I should get going, what's the safest way out of here?" Nikki asked. "We'd prefer to be a little more subtle with our exit.
Amber responded "By safest, do you mean the only way you'll probably survive leaving here? That would probably be the trapdoor."
"What trapdoor?" both Nikki and Ethan asked at the same time.
Amber pointed at the floor around where Ethan and Nikki were. "The one underneath you. How convenient." She then pulled a lever in the floor which caused her toaster to explode in a cloud of smoke and burnt bread. "Lets try this again shall we?" She then pulled the lever next to the first one. She watched as the floor gave way underneath Nikki and Ethan sending them down a chute before the floor returned to its normal position. "One of these days, I'm going to get to try that on myself" she said to herself.
Moments later, Nikki and Ethan found themselves on a large pile of newspapers underneath Amber's patio. Ethan said "Damn it."
Nikki asked "What, whats wrong, that didn't hurt at all?"
"I've already read this comic section" he responded before crumpling up that newspaper and tossing it aside. Nikki rolled up a newspaper and bopped Ethan on the head. "Hey!"
The two of them snuck back up to where the car was and quickly go inside. They then sped away as fast as they could. Ethan could have swore he saw a man with a high powered rifle in his hand standing in the road but lost sight of the him moments later. He was distracted by a dull thump as the car drove over something.
"The two events couldn't possibly be related" Ethan thought to himself.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Chapter 4: One Drink Wasn't Enough
"What are you still doing out here?" Anna asked Zane through the screen door. "You've been standing out there for an hour now staring at the driveway. And why is there a dead postman on my porch?"
Zane looked back at Anna as innocently as possible. "This gentleman was dead when I got here."
Anna spoke with a hint of irritation. "I distinctly remember when I was talking to you earlier that there was in fact no dead bodies on the porch. None is one less then one dead body which I now see before me. I'm also pretty sure he did not just stab himself multiple times in the eye and then somehow crawl up the steps here without you noticing. Postmen might be ninjas but they're not that good, especially when they're injured."
Zane shrugged. "Perhaps I'll take you up on those couple of shots of vodka you were offering earlier."
"I never offered.." she began to say but it was too late. Zane had already pushed passed Anna into the house and was heading towards the kitchen.
Almost immediately after Zane had entered the house, he found his way blocked by a little gray kitten sitting in front of him. He looked down at it and it looked back up with big eyes. "Your cat has a knife, what should I do?" he asked Anna.
"I'm not really sure what to tell you" she said rubbing some bandages on her arms. "Most likely she wants something from you, maybe your wallet. But then again, if she just doesn't like you...."
Zane reached into his pocket and pulled out a wallet and tossed it into the awaiting outstretched paw. The kitten slashed the front of his pants leg before darting away with the wallet in her mouth. "I've got to be honest with you miss, I've never been mugged before by a cat. What exactly is going on here?"
Anna shrugged. "I couldn't tell you, I just live here. I don't think anyone ever found the last guy that came in unwelcome."
Zane took a moment to let her comments sink in before continuing much more cautiously towards the kitchen. After fixing himself a drink, he sat down at the kitchen table. Anna took a seat opposite him with her own drink.
Zane sighed. "It may have been a mistake coming here. I was expecting some other people to be living here. So either I'm at the wrong house, which could be possible since that taxi driver was a little strange. The other possibility is that you're not telling me everything."
"You know, come to think of it, a lot of things do go missing from time to time from the fridge and I hear the water running in the morning. And there's a whole lot of clothing in the closets that isn't mine."
Zane thought maybe she was finally figuring out someone else lived in this house with her. He was wrong.
"I'm obviously in the wrong house" Anna said suddenly. She then got up and went out the front door without another word leaving Zane all alone. He sat there staring blindly at where Anna had sat just a few moments ago maybe a little dumbfounded about what had just happened. No more then a minute passed before Anna came diving through the window behind him with a loud crash and the shattering of the window pane. She got up, brushed the broken glass off her, and sat down in front of Zane again.
"There, all better" she said to herself before noticing Zane. "Oh hey did you follow me to the right house?"
Zane looked at her for a second as his jaw dropped just a little bit. He regathered his composure before nodding at her. "Yes"
"I'm glad we were able to clear up that misunderstanding" Anna said triumpantly.
Zane smiled politely and said "I should go" as he stood up. He began to make his way to the door. Something was very wrong here and he was pretty sure it wasn't a safe situation to be in.
Anna turned to watch him leave and said "Let yourself out, but don't make eye contact with the black cat."
Zane wished he had heard that warning just a couple seconds earlier because he had just did what she told him not to do. Staring back at him was the black cat Anna spoke of, looking at him with her big yellow eyes. There was little movement from the cat as it stared at him blankly. He couldn't bring himself to look away because he figured the damage had already been done. After a couple moments, the black cat pulled out a pen and pad and wrote something down on it.
Anna said "Yeah maybe I should have said that a little faster. Well it was nice knowing you mister. And by that I mean not really." Anna waved at Zane.
Zane hearing this and decided it was really time to depart as he made his way quickly out the door and down the driveway toward the road. "That could have gone better" he said to himself as he started to sprint away as fast as he could.
Back in the house, Anna watched the black cat get down from the couch and move over to the phone to place a call. She muttered to herself "Finally I can get back to work without interlopers around."
Zane looked back at Anna as innocently as possible. "This gentleman was dead when I got here."
Anna spoke with a hint of irritation. "I distinctly remember when I was talking to you earlier that there was in fact no dead bodies on the porch. None is one less then one dead body which I now see before me. I'm also pretty sure he did not just stab himself multiple times in the eye and then somehow crawl up the steps here without you noticing. Postmen might be ninjas but they're not that good, especially when they're injured."
Zane shrugged. "Perhaps I'll take you up on those couple of shots of vodka you were offering earlier."
"I never offered.." she began to say but it was too late. Zane had already pushed passed Anna into the house and was heading towards the kitchen.
Almost immediately after Zane had entered the house, he found his way blocked by a little gray kitten sitting in front of him. He looked down at it and it looked back up with big eyes. "Your cat has a knife, what should I do?" he asked Anna.
"I'm not really sure what to tell you" she said rubbing some bandages on her arms. "Most likely she wants something from you, maybe your wallet. But then again, if she just doesn't like you...."
Zane reached into his pocket and pulled out a wallet and tossed it into the awaiting outstretched paw. The kitten slashed the front of his pants leg before darting away with the wallet in her mouth. "I've got to be honest with you miss, I've never been mugged before by a cat. What exactly is going on here?"
Anna shrugged. "I couldn't tell you, I just live here. I don't think anyone ever found the last guy that came in unwelcome."
Zane took a moment to let her comments sink in before continuing much more cautiously towards the kitchen. After fixing himself a drink, he sat down at the kitchen table. Anna took a seat opposite him with her own drink.
Zane sighed. "It may have been a mistake coming here. I was expecting some other people to be living here. So either I'm at the wrong house, which could be possible since that taxi driver was a little strange. The other possibility is that you're not telling me everything."
"You know, come to think of it, a lot of things do go missing from time to time from the fridge and I hear the water running in the morning. And there's a whole lot of clothing in the closets that isn't mine."
Zane thought maybe she was finally figuring out someone else lived in this house with her. He was wrong.
"I'm obviously in the wrong house" Anna said suddenly. She then got up and went out the front door without another word leaving Zane all alone. He sat there staring blindly at where Anna had sat just a few moments ago maybe a little dumbfounded about what had just happened. No more then a minute passed before Anna came diving through the window behind him with a loud crash and the shattering of the window pane. She got up, brushed the broken glass off her, and sat down in front of Zane again.
"There, all better" she said to herself before noticing Zane. "Oh hey did you follow me to the right house?"
Zane looked at her for a second as his jaw dropped just a little bit. He regathered his composure before nodding at her. "Yes"
"I'm glad we were able to clear up that misunderstanding" Anna said triumpantly.
Zane smiled politely and said "I should go" as he stood up. He began to make his way to the door. Something was very wrong here and he was pretty sure it wasn't a safe situation to be in.
Anna turned to watch him leave and said "Let yourself out, but don't make eye contact with the black cat."
Zane wished he had heard that warning just a couple seconds earlier because he had just did what she told him not to do. Staring back at him was the black cat Anna spoke of, looking at him with her big yellow eyes. There was little movement from the cat as it stared at him blankly. He couldn't bring himself to look away because he figured the damage had already been done. After a couple moments, the black cat pulled out a pen and pad and wrote something down on it.
Anna said "Yeah maybe I should have said that a little faster. Well it was nice knowing you mister. And by that I mean not really." Anna waved at Zane.
Zane hearing this and decided it was really time to depart as he made his way quickly out the door and down the driveway toward the road. "That could have gone better" he said to himself as he started to sprint away as fast as he could.
Back in the house, Anna watched the black cat get down from the couch and move over to the phone to place a call. She muttered to herself "Finally I can get back to work without interlopers around."
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Chapter 3: Who Says Libraries are Boring
"I can't believe we survived that last combat" Millie said excitedly.
Ethan thought for a second before responding. "I'm pretty surprised too. I can fix that though. Rocks fall, you die." He then picked up her character sheet, crumbled it up and bounced the ball of paper off of Millie's head. "Head shot!"
Millie frowned. "Really? Is my character dead?"
Ethan laughed. "No but your character sheet got crumbled up, your character walks with a limp now. Oh and copy your information to a clean sheet by next week."
Nikki picked up the crumbled character sheet and handed it to Millie. "That's what you get for being a kiss-up to the DM. Run along now!"
After packing up all their materials, Nikki and Ethan carried everything to the car. After securing things back in the trunk and repositioning the body back there, they turned to face a group of approaching people. Squinting, Ethan said "I can't make out who they are, better prepare for the worst. Do you have my back?"
"What kind of a question is that? Of course I do. Me and you through thick and thin right?" Ethan pulled out his number 2 pencil, freshly sharpened. Nikki asked "Do you really think that's going to help defend you?"
Ethan responded "I hope so, since number 3 pencils are against the law, I'll have to settle for the lesser pencil. Pencils don't kill people, the lead kills people."
"Actually... pencil's don't have lead in them anymore" Nikki retorted.
Ethan looked down at his sharpened writing instrument frowning. All sad and dejected he tossed the pencil aside. "What's the world coming to? No lead in pencils? I guess I'll just use this" he said as Ethan pulled out his handgun.
After the group passed the two of them without incident, Ethan and Nikki made their way back inside to finish one more thing. Upon re-entering the building, Ethan walked into the open elevator. He pressed all the buttons at once and dived out as the doors closed, landing at the feet of a tall man with a bushy beard. Ethan looked up. "Hey Bernard, how you doing?"
Before he could answer, there was a loud grinding noise as the elevator attempted to visit every floor similtaneously. A whiff of smoke shot out the crack in the elevator doors. Bernard helped Ethan to his feet. "We just got that fixed Ethan."
Nikki cut in. "We were going to solve the age old question of whether the lights in the elevator go off when the doors close if no one is inside. I think Ethan decided to improvise a little in our experiment."
Ethan said "Sorry, my bad. Oh Bernard, I was meaning to ask, what's with the giant hole in the ceiling over there?"
Bernard chuckled. "Well apparently a piece of the Russian space station came crashing down through the roof of the library into Jill's office. You'd figure the Russians would keep better track of their stuff."
Ethan sifted through the wreckage and debris before saying "Oh a red stapler!" as he picked it up and put it in his pocket.
Nikki asked "Was Jill in her office at the time?"
Bernard shrugged. "It's funny, no one's asked that yet until now. Lets go ask her if she's ok." Bernard climbed into the wreckage until he found Jill. "Jill, you alright."
Nikki frowned. "I'm not thinking she's doing so well, that's a support beam through her head."
Bernard whispered. "Shh, you're not supposed to address her disability unless she brings it up first."
Nikki moved closer. "She's obviously dead."
Bernard took a closer look himself. "Are you sure? We don't want to get hit with a lawsuit for discrimination against people with support beams through their heads. It's a surprisingly frequent condition in some places."
Nikki nodded. "Yeah I'm sure she's just dead."
Bernard pulled an envelope off the desk. "I guess we won't need to be paying her anymore. I'll just take this check back, for safe keeping."
Ethan said "Alright lets get going Nikki, we need to stop over at Amber's on the way home. I have something to give her. See you later Bernard. Thanks for the stapler." Ethan and Nikki made their way back to the car and got in.
Ethan thought for a second before responding. "I'm pretty surprised too. I can fix that though. Rocks fall, you die." He then picked up her character sheet, crumbled it up and bounced the ball of paper off of Millie's head. "Head shot!"
Millie frowned. "Really? Is my character dead?"
Ethan laughed. "No but your character sheet got crumbled up, your character walks with a limp now. Oh and copy your information to a clean sheet by next week."
Nikki picked up the crumbled character sheet and handed it to Millie. "That's what you get for being a kiss-up to the DM. Run along now!"
After packing up all their materials, Nikki and Ethan carried everything to the car. After securing things back in the trunk and repositioning the body back there, they turned to face a group of approaching people. Squinting, Ethan said "I can't make out who they are, better prepare for the worst. Do you have my back?"
"What kind of a question is that? Of course I do. Me and you through thick and thin right?" Ethan pulled out his number 2 pencil, freshly sharpened. Nikki asked "Do you really think that's going to help defend you?"
Ethan responded "I hope so, since number 3 pencils are against the law, I'll have to settle for the lesser pencil. Pencils don't kill people, the lead kills people."
"Actually... pencil's don't have lead in them anymore" Nikki retorted.
Ethan looked down at his sharpened writing instrument frowning. All sad and dejected he tossed the pencil aside. "What's the world coming to? No lead in pencils? I guess I'll just use this" he said as Ethan pulled out his handgun.
After the group passed the two of them without incident, Ethan and Nikki made their way back inside to finish one more thing. Upon re-entering the building, Ethan walked into the open elevator. He pressed all the buttons at once and dived out as the doors closed, landing at the feet of a tall man with a bushy beard. Ethan looked up. "Hey Bernard, how you doing?"
Before he could answer, there was a loud grinding noise as the elevator attempted to visit every floor similtaneously. A whiff of smoke shot out the crack in the elevator doors. Bernard helped Ethan to his feet. "We just got that fixed Ethan."
Nikki cut in. "We were going to solve the age old question of whether the lights in the elevator go off when the doors close if no one is inside. I think Ethan decided to improvise a little in our experiment."
Ethan said "Sorry, my bad. Oh Bernard, I was meaning to ask, what's with the giant hole in the ceiling over there?"
Bernard chuckled. "Well apparently a piece of the Russian space station came crashing down through the roof of the library into Jill's office. You'd figure the Russians would keep better track of their stuff."
Ethan sifted through the wreckage and debris before saying "Oh a red stapler!" as he picked it up and put it in his pocket.
Nikki asked "Was Jill in her office at the time?"
Bernard shrugged. "It's funny, no one's asked that yet until now. Lets go ask her if she's ok." Bernard climbed into the wreckage until he found Jill. "Jill, you alright."
Nikki frowned. "I'm not thinking she's doing so well, that's a support beam through her head."
Bernard whispered. "Shh, you're not supposed to address her disability unless she brings it up first."
Nikki moved closer. "She's obviously dead."
Bernard took a closer look himself. "Are you sure? We don't want to get hit with a lawsuit for discrimination against people with support beams through their heads. It's a surprisingly frequent condition in some places."
Nikki nodded. "Yeah I'm sure she's just dead."
Bernard pulled an envelope off the desk. "I guess we won't need to be paying her anymore. I'll just take this check back, for safe keeping."
Ethan said "Alright lets get going Nikki, we need to stop over at Amber's on the way home. I have something to give her. See you later Bernard. Thanks for the stapler." Ethan and Nikki made their way back to the car and got in.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Chapter 2: You may have already won
Zane stood patiently in line at the local branch of the LHCU, the lawyers and hitmen credit union. With the check he had got from Ethan and a deposit slip in hand, he tapped his foot to the beat of the lobby music.
One of the tellers announced "I can help the next person in line. How can I help you today sir?"
"I'm here to make a deposit" Zane answered handing the teller the check and deposit slip.
The teller took the paperwork and started processing it. After a few moments, she looked up and frowned. "I'm sorry sir, we can't cash this check for a negative bajillion dollars. It's an out of state check."
Zane asks "Really? How can you tell?"
The teller points up in the corner of the check where it reads in big letters 'Out of State Check'.
"What? why that little...." Zane groaned to himself as he stomped out the door. Once outside, he announced "Nobody double-crosses a double-crosser. Luckily I took the liberty of pickpocketing him while he was signing paperwork, a little insurance policy that usually pays off."
Zane pulled out the wallet he had lifted off of Ethan and started rummaging through it. It was filled with play money but did include Ethan's license. It included his name and home address. "I think maybe I should pay my new clients a little visit" he said as he flagged down a taxi.
A taxi pulled up and he jumped in. He asked the driver "Can you take me to this address and step on it?"
The driver turned around. "I know where this is. Though how am I supposed to step on the address?"
Zane frowned. "I meant hurry up please."
"Why, are you in a rush?" asked the driver.
Zane shrugged. "Well no, not really. I've just always wanted to say that. It just seems like the sort of thing you say when you get in a taxi."
"Oh, off we go then." the driver said as he slammed his foot down on the gas and sped off towards the address listed on the license.
After a quick trip, the taxi screeched to a halt in front of Ethan's house. Zane handed the driver a stack of play money from the wallet and got out. The driver asked "Would you like change?"
Zane responded "No keep the change my good sir" then headed for the house. The driveway was empty with no sight of Ethan's vehicle. "He's probably hidden it."
The very first thing he noticed was that the lock on the door appeared to have been picked. He thought to myself "Well that's one less thing I have to do, this day is turning around already."
Zane heard a single woman talking inside but he could not hear anyone else, so she was probably on the phone.
"The door was a lot harder to pick then I remember...
There's something strange going on with these three cats...
Their behavior seems coordinated...
Alright I'll have a look around, why do I always get stuck doing this...
But I'm not the evil one...."
Zane decided he'd heard enough and knocked on the door.
"Someone's at the door. I'll call you back.."
A curly haired woman answered the door. "Yes? Can I help you sir?"
Zane cleared his voice. "Yes good afternoon ma'am, I'm with the Publisher's Cleanout House sweepstakes, is Mr. Ethan home. He's our big winner."
The woman shook her head. "No one with that name lives here, it's just little old me and my cats."
"You live here by yourself?" Zane sounded skeptical. "The man I'm looking for lives at this address"
"Nope I'm the only one that lives here for sure. That must mean the prize is for me. Make it out to Anna. Hey where is the oversized check anyway?"
Zane looked around nervously. "Ah yes see the thing is we ran out of giant oversized checks, so you'll just have to accept this." He handed her the check he had recieved earlier for a negative bajillion.
She took it from him and looked it over. "I can't accept this, it's an out of state check." She handed him the check back.
Zane frowned. "OK I'm not really here with the prize patrol, I really do need to find Ethan though, he drives a green car. Does that ring a bell?"
"You mean that one?" she said as she pushed past him outside and pointed at a car that wasn't there. Realizing it was missing, she looked back sheepishly and said "Sometimes it disappears mysteriously and returns later. It should be back soon, would you like to come in and wait. I have some tea and scones."
Zane was about to decline when he caught a glimpse of one of the cats staring at him through the open door. "Wait did that cat just flip me off?"
One of the tellers announced "I can help the next person in line. How can I help you today sir?"
"I'm here to make a deposit" Zane answered handing the teller the check and deposit slip.
The teller took the paperwork and started processing it. After a few moments, she looked up and frowned. "I'm sorry sir, we can't cash this check for a negative bajillion dollars. It's an out of state check."
Zane asks "Really? How can you tell?"
The teller points up in the corner of the check where it reads in big letters 'Out of State Check'.
"What? why that little...." Zane groaned to himself as he stomped out the door. Once outside, he announced "Nobody double-crosses a double-crosser. Luckily I took the liberty of pickpocketing him while he was signing paperwork, a little insurance policy that usually pays off."
Zane pulled out the wallet he had lifted off of Ethan and started rummaging through it. It was filled with play money but did include Ethan's license. It included his name and home address. "I think maybe I should pay my new clients a little visit" he said as he flagged down a taxi.
A taxi pulled up and he jumped in. He asked the driver "Can you take me to this address and step on it?"
The driver turned around. "I know where this is. Though how am I supposed to step on the address?"
Zane frowned. "I meant hurry up please."
"Why, are you in a rush?" asked the driver.
Zane shrugged. "Well no, not really. I've just always wanted to say that. It just seems like the sort of thing you say when you get in a taxi."
"Oh, off we go then." the driver said as he slammed his foot down on the gas and sped off towards the address listed on the license.
After a quick trip, the taxi screeched to a halt in front of Ethan's house. Zane handed the driver a stack of play money from the wallet and got out. The driver asked "Would you like change?"
Zane responded "No keep the change my good sir" then headed for the house. The driveway was empty with no sight of Ethan's vehicle. "He's probably hidden it."
The very first thing he noticed was that the lock on the door appeared to have been picked. He thought to myself "Well that's one less thing I have to do, this day is turning around already."
Zane heard a single woman talking inside but he could not hear anyone else, so she was probably on the phone.
"The door was a lot harder to pick then I remember...
There's something strange going on with these three cats...
Their behavior seems coordinated...
Alright I'll have a look around, why do I always get stuck doing this...
But I'm not the evil one...."
Zane decided he'd heard enough and knocked on the door.
"Someone's at the door. I'll call you back.."
A curly haired woman answered the door. "Yes? Can I help you sir?"
Zane cleared his voice. "Yes good afternoon ma'am, I'm with the Publisher's Cleanout House sweepstakes, is Mr. Ethan home. He's our big winner."
The woman shook her head. "No one with that name lives here, it's just little old me and my cats."
"You live here by yourself?" Zane sounded skeptical. "The man I'm looking for lives at this address"
"Nope I'm the only one that lives here for sure. That must mean the prize is for me. Make it out to Anna. Hey where is the oversized check anyway?"
Zane looked around nervously. "Ah yes see the thing is we ran out of giant oversized checks, so you'll just have to accept this." He handed her the check he had recieved earlier for a negative bajillion.
She took it from him and looked it over. "I can't accept this, it's an out of state check." She handed him the check back.
Zane frowned. "OK I'm not really here with the prize patrol, I really do need to find Ethan though, he drives a green car. Does that ring a bell?"
"You mean that one?" she said as she pushed past him outside and pointed at a car that wasn't there. Realizing it was missing, she looked back sheepishly and said "Sometimes it disappears mysteriously and returns later. It should be back soon, would you like to come in and wait. I have some tea and scones."
Zane was about to decline when he caught a glimpse of one of the cats staring at him through the open door. "Wait did that cat just flip me off?"
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Chapter 1: Start the Day Off Right
Ethan stared at Tigerlily as she sat in front of the door blocking his way. Tigerlily was an old gray cat who had long ago grown as cynical and mean as a cat can be. Ethan was pretty sure that Tigerlily was flipping him off, or giving him the paw at least. That was about as close as a cat could come to a mean-spirited hand gesture. "Well same to you Tigerlily" Ethan said angrily.
"Ethan dear, she's the least of our problems right now. You're making us late." Nikki was standing next to Ethan the whole time.
Ethan frowned. "She's going to try and slap me if I try to move her so we can get outside."
Nikki threw her hands to her side. "It's not a big deal, we have another door leading outside, lets just take that one."
"Oh yeah" he said. "This isn't over yet Tigerlily, not in the least bit." Tigerlily responded with an angry growling noise and then settled back down in front of the door. "OK lets go." Ethan and Nikki moved across the house to the side door and stepped outside.
"We're actually quite late now" Nikki reminded Ethan.
"It was the cat's fault" was all he could respond.
Nikki laughed. "As much sense as I'm sure that makes to you, its not a very solid defense if you ask me." She smirked in his direction and poked him in the side. "Why don't you go ahead and tell them a dog ate all the books while you're at it."
"Whatever, oh look, the car is still here in the driveway." Ethan and Nikki had just walked around to the front yard and the driveway.
Nikki looked confused. "What do you mean 'its still in the driveway'?"
"Well some days I come out here to drive it and its not there, and then mysteriously it returns many hours later in roughly the same spot. Luckily disappearing and reappearing cars aren't going to be an issue today."
As they climbed into the car, Nikki groaned. "You do know that Jade borrows it from time to time, and when she does she always leaves her vehicle here in the driveway. Haven't you ever noticed her HUMV?"
Ethan shook his head slowly as he started the car up. "No, its not ringing a bell."
"Why she would even want to borrow your Mustang is beyond me with all this garbage in the backseat."
"Hey! Those are all very useful things."
"Well what do you need a network switch for?" she asked skeptical.
"That's for if I'm ever somewhere and they experience a critical network switch hardware failure, then I'll be like 'Hey I got one in my car' and they'll be like 'Oh Ethan our hero'."
"That only barely makes any sense, but I'll leave it be. What about the wooden pole? I'm dying to hear your explanation for that. Is it for in case you have to grow a forest from scratch?" She laughed at him.
"No the wooden pole is for all the times I've had to do battle to the death on a narrow rope bridge hanging high above a volcano."
"Ethan, I'm pretty sure you've never done battle to the death over a volcano."
"No I suppose I haven't, but I got a feeling today's the day. The one time you go out unprepared is the one day you will have wished you remembered your wooden pole" he said as he backed the car up. There was a loud thumping noise as the car hit and ran over something. "I don't remember there being a speed bump in our driveway.
Nikki rolled down her window to investigate. "Sorry, that wasn't a speed bump. It was that guy from the Twilit Zone that goes around offering insightful commentary to unseen crowds all the time. He's been hanging around our house for a couple of days now."
"Oh really?" Ethan said as he too rolled down his window. He then shouted out the window "Submitted for your approval, MY TIRES!" and proceeded to back over the guy one more time. Ethan again started to head out of the driveway.
"There are laws against leaving bodies out in the open like that, help me put it in the trunk. We'll stop somewhere on the way." They both climbed out and tossed the body into the trunk. "Check his pockets just in case" All they found in his pockets was a business card that said 'Narrator'. They shrugged slightly confused. They then both got back into the car quickly. "See doesn't it feel better to clean up after yourself?"
"Yeah yeah, we can finally get on our way" he added as they sped out onto the road. By now, they were even later and Ethan was trying to make up for some lost time. "Why do you suppose there are so many people standing in the middle of the express lane? Some of them are only just barely leaping out of the way before I hit them."
Nikki rolled her eyes. "I think I have a good explanation. What you call the 'express lane' is what the rest of us like to call the sidewalk. I'm pretty sure most of these people were not expecting to have to share it with your car."
"But it's so much faster in this lane."
She responded "I know, that's why I didn't say anything originally. I have an idea about what we can do about the body in the trunk. This sleaze of a man approached me the other day and gave me his business card." She reached into her bag and pulled out a business card. "Ah yes Zane McStabenstash, I'll give him a call and see if he can meet us on the way." Nikki pulled out her cellphone and quickly dialed the number from the card.
"Yes hello, I received a business card from you the other day...
I was the one that tripped you....
Right well we might have a job for you....
A Disposal....
OK can you meet us at the abandon drive-thru?...
Excellent, in like five minutes....
Come alone....
Why? I don't know, seemed like the right thing to say...
OK, see you then....."
Nikki closed the phone and put it away. "Make a quick stop at the abandon drive-thru. It's just up ahead." Ethan returned to the road and took the turn towards the abandoned section of town.
Upon reaching the meeting location, they were surprised to see that a man was already standing there waiting. Nikki and Ethan got out of the car and approached the man cautiously.
"Ah you must be the folks that called me. I'm always happy to take on new clients. My name is Zane, how may I be of service?"
Ethan stepped forward. "We've got a package that was 'damaged in transit' that we'd like redelivered to an undisclosed location."
"Ah yes, OK, lets fill out some paperwork shall we." Zane hit a button on the side of his briefcase that popped some legs out the bottom forming a little table. "OK if I could get you to sign here.....and here...initial below this line. OK now put your fingerprint here. OK ... and here too. OK and make a check out to Zane for the amount listed on page 2, box N.... OK I'm legally obligated to inform you that I am an equal opportunity service provider and under North Carolina law, am also required to subject you to a 10 day waiting period for body disposal. I'll be in touch."
"We were hoping you could take care of this now" Nikki said angerily.
"Sorry you've already signed the paperwork. Too bad. See you in ten days, bring it here then, bye bye." Zane then threw down a little smoke bomb that let out a wisp of smoke as he ran away."
Nikki got back in the car slamming the door. Ethan watched Zane disappear behind the abandoned snack bar before getting back in the car. Nikki fumed "He'll get what's coming to him." Ethan smirked as he started the car.
Finally another ten minutes later, Ethan and Nikki arrived at their destination, the local university. After they climbed out and collected a box of materials from the trunk, they walked towards the security checkpoint in the front of the library.
"Isn't it something else that they enacted a policy prohibitting the use of any books in university buildings that have any educational value whatsoever?" Nikki asked as they approached the line.
When it was their turn to go through, Ethan told the armed guards "As you can see Officiers, all of these books and weapons have no educational value whatsoever." After a quick verification of his statement, the guards waved them through without incident.
Once inside, they moved downstairs and found the study room that their group was meeting in. As Ethan pushed the door open he said "Sorry we're late, we had a rough trip into town today." Ethan and Nikki took seats at the table. "Before we begin, lets get all the small talk and idle chatter out of the way."
People started talking all kinds of random things. "Did you hear that their offering Jumproping 101 next year." "I heard that Advanced Underwater Basket Weaving was being moved up to a 300th level course." "Did you hear that the answer to that one puzzle was dubious?"
Ethan with a wave of his hand yelled "SILENCE, enough idle chatter, let us begin. Thank you all for being here. Tonight you die!" After which, he chucked a handful of dice out onto the table. "Roll for initiative!"
"Ethan dear, she's the least of our problems right now. You're making us late." Nikki was standing next to Ethan the whole time.
Ethan frowned. "She's going to try and slap me if I try to move her so we can get outside."
Nikki threw her hands to her side. "It's not a big deal, we have another door leading outside, lets just take that one."
"Oh yeah" he said. "This isn't over yet Tigerlily, not in the least bit." Tigerlily responded with an angry growling noise and then settled back down in front of the door. "OK lets go." Ethan and Nikki moved across the house to the side door and stepped outside.
"We're actually quite late now" Nikki reminded Ethan.
"It was the cat's fault" was all he could respond.
Nikki laughed. "As much sense as I'm sure that makes to you, its not a very solid defense if you ask me." She smirked in his direction and poked him in the side. "Why don't you go ahead and tell them a dog ate all the books while you're at it."
"Whatever, oh look, the car is still here in the driveway." Ethan and Nikki had just walked around to the front yard and the driveway.
Nikki looked confused. "What do you mean 'its still in the driveway'?"
"Well some days I come out here to drive it and its not there, and then mysteriously it returns many hours later in roughly the same spot. Luckily disappearing and reappearing cars aren't going to be an issue today."
As they climbed into the car, Nikki groaned. "You do know that Jade borrows it from time to time, and when she does she always leaves her vehicle here in the driveway. Haven't you ever noticed her HUMV?"
Ethan shook his head slowly as he started the car up. "No, its not ringing a bell."
"Why she would even want to borrow your Mustang is beyond me with all this garbage in the backseat."
"Hey! Those are all very useful things."
"Well what do you need a network switch for?" she asked skeptical.
"That's for if I'm ever somewhere and they experience a critical network switch hardware failure, then I'll be like 'Hey I got one in my car' and they'll be like 'Oh Ethan our hero'."
"That only barely makes any sense, but I'll leave it be. What about the wooden pole? I'm dying to hear your explanation for that. Is it for in case you have to grow a forest from scratch?" She laughed at him.
"No the wooden pole is for all the times I've had to do battle to the death on a narrow rope bridge hanging high above a volcano."
"Ethan, I'm pretty sure you've never done battle to the death over a volcano."
"No I suppose I haven't, but I got a feeling today's the day. The one time you go out unprepared is the one day you will have wished you remembered your wooden pole" he said as he backed the car up. There was a loud thumping noise as the car hit and ran over something. "I don't remember there being a speed bump in our driveway.
Nikki rolled down her window to investigate. "Sorry, that wasn't a speed bump. It was that guy from the Twilit Zone that goes around offering insightful commentary to unseen crowds all the time. He's been hanging around our house for a couple of days now."
"Oh really?" Ethan said as he too rolled down his window. He then shouted out the window "Submitted for your approval, MY TIRES!" and proceeded to back over the guy one more time. Ethan again started to head out of the driveway.
"There are laws against leaving bodies out in the open like that, help me put it in the trunk. We'll stop somewhere on the way." They both climbed out and tossed the body into the trunk. "Check his pockets just in case" All they found in his pockets was a business card that said 'Narrator'. They shrugged slightly confused. They then both got back into the car quickly. "See doesn't it feel better to clean up after yourself?"
"Yeah yeah, we can finally get on our way" he added as they sped out onto the road. By now, they were even later and Ethan was trying to make up for some lost time. "Why do you suppose there are so many people standing in the middle of the express lane? Some of them are only just barely leaping out of the way before I hit them."
Nikki rolled her eyes. "I think I have a good explanation. What you call the 'express lane' is what the rest of us like to call the sidewalk. I'm pretty sure most of these people were not expecting to have to share it with your car."
"But it's so much faster in this lane."
She responded "I know, that's why I didn't say anything originally. I have an idea about what we can do about the body in the trunk. This sleaze of a man approached me the other day and gave me his business card." She reached into her bag and pulled out a business card. "Ah yes Zane McStabenstash, I'll give him a call and see if he can meet us on the way." Nikki pulled out her cellphone and quickly dialed the number from the card.
"Yes hello, I received a business card from you the other day...
I was the one that tripped you....
Right well we might have a job for you....
A Disposal....
OK can you meet us at the abandon drive-thru?...
Excellent, in like five minutes....
Come alone....
Why? I don't know, seemed like the right thing to say...
OK, see you then....."
Nikki closed the phone and put it away. "Make a quick stop at the abandon drive-thru. It's just up ahead." Ethan returned to the road and took the turn towards the abandoned section of town.
Upon reaching the meeting location, they were surprised to see that a man was already standing there waiting. Nikki and Ethan got out of the car and approached the man cautiously.
"Ah you must be the folks that called me. I'm always happy to take on new clients. My name is Zane, how may I be of service?"
Ethan stepped forward. "We've got a package that was 'damaged in transit' that we'd like redelivered to an undisclosed location."
"Ah yes, OK, lets fill out some paperwork shall we." Zane hit a button on the side of his briefcase that popped some legs out the bottom forming a little table. "OK if I could get you to sign here.....and here...initial below this line. OK now put your fingerprint here. OK ... and here too. OK and make a check out to Zane for the amount listed on page 2, box N.... OK I'm legally obligated to inform you that I am an equal opportunity service provider and under North Carolina law, am also required to subject you to a 10 day waiting period for body disposal. I'll be in touch."
"We were hoping you could take care of this now" Nikki said angerily.
"Sorry you've already signed the paperwork. Too bad. See you in ten days, bring it here then, bye bye." Zane then threw down a little smoke bomb that let out a wisp of smoke as he ran away."
Nikki got back in the car slamming the door. Ethan watched Zane disappear behind the abandoned snack bar before getting back in the car. Nikki fumed "He'll get what's coming to him." Ethan smirked as he started the car.
Finally another ten minutes later, Ethan and Nikki arrived at their destination, the local university. After they climbed out and collected a box of materials from the trunk, they walked towards the security checkpoint in the front of the library.
"Isn't it something else that they enacted a policy prohibitting the use of any books in university buildings that have any educational value whatsoever?" Nikki asked as they approached the line.
When it was their turn to go through, Ethan told the armed guards "As you can see Officiers, all of these books and weapons have no educational value whatsoever." After a quick verification of his statement, the guards waved them through without incident.
Once inside, they moved downstairs and found the study room that their group was meeting in. As Ethan pushed the door open he said "Sorry we're late, we had a rough trip into town today." Ethan and Nikki took seats at the table. "Before we begin, lets get all the small talk and idle chatter out of the way."
People started talking all kinds of random things. "Did you hear that their offering Jumproping 101 next year." "I heard that Advanced Underwater Basket Weaving was being moved up to a 300th level course." "Did you hear that the answer to that one puzzle was dubious?"
Ethan with a wave of his hand yelled "SILENCE, enough idle chatter, let us begin. Thank you all for being here. Tonight you die!" After which, he chucked a handful of dice out onto the table. "Roll for initiative!"
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