Chapter 19: Few in Tutus and The Two too

Zane was awoken from a dream about a pair of ballerinas because of a loud knocking noise on the front door. He sat up in his bed. "Damn it, that was one of the best dreams ever." Again he heard a pounding on the door. "Fine, I'm coming already. You've already ruined everything" he shouted.

As Zane approached the front door wearing his pajamas and fuzzy slippers, a voice yelled through the door "Open up, its the Russians!"

"Honestly, you're not making a strong case for me to open it up" Zane responded back at the door. He quickly pulled off his pajama suit and slipped into a fresh suit he had hanging next to the door.

Once he was dressed fully, Zane opened the door to see what all the knocking was about. Two large Russian looking thugs 'Russiaed' in the open doorway. After giving each other a high five for the small Russian pun, one of them addressed Zane. "I am Special Agent Nikolas and this is my associate Special Agent Leon. We are here because we believe you are under the employ of subjects 24602, The Two."

Zane just about ignored what Special Agent Nikolas said. "Why were you knocking on my front door. There's a huge rocket launcher hole in the side of the house not more then three feet from the door. See!" Zane stepped outside through the hole and then back in. "In......" "......Out" He then disappeared out the hole in the wall.

Shortly after, there was a knock at the door. Agent Leon turned to the other russian and asked "Should we answer door?" Agent Nikolas nodded.

Before either could get to the door, Zane appeared and entered through the hole again. "Whatever though, I don't remember having any clients that call themselves the two."

Agent Leon said "No its capitalized like this, The Two!"

"OK but why are The Two so important that both of you needed to come here anyways. Why are you Russians really here?"

Agent Nikolas smiled. "That's easy, we're the villians."

Zane looked confused. "What? Why?...What?"

“Because we’re Russian. Haven’t you been paying attention to any American cinema in the last 60 years? Now pack your bags you're coming with us.”

Zane frowned. "You do know the cold war is over right?"

The two Russians looked at each other. "Nyet, we hadn't heard such nonsense. In mother Russia, all citizens are given assignments to do no good in America, it is national past time. Our mission is about The Two. Through The Two, we can create complete chaos. We will be heroes. Now into the car."

Zane was about to object, but the Russian Special Agents flashed something shiny and valuable at him. "Yeah maybe I'll see how all this resolves. You could have just said this was a business proposition. Now,” he said as they headed for the car, “I’ll need to draw up a contract. I won’t be held responsible for anything that in anyway could be construed as my fault unless there’s a gainful consequence.” He quickly finished drawing up the contract after they were in the car and driving away. Putting away his crayons, he held the paper out to one Special Agent and then the other. “If you’ll just initial here, and here, and here. Whoa. Keep your eyes on the road buddy. This isn’t TV. We could crash.”

They reached the Special Russian Facilities without incident, entering through a secret underground tunnel. Once inside the building, they passed several classrooms, including a lecture entitled Decapitation vs. Defenestration: How to Know Which Method is Right for You, before coming to a door with a sign The Two View Headquarters. “Are you ready to enter this door Special Consulting Agent Zane?” asked Special Agents Nikolas and Leon who had somehow managed to say that as the same exact time.

“I guess I’m ready. “

They opened the door and pushed Zane through.