Chapter 33: Technical Difficulties

Zane sat at his new desk waiting for something to happen. After his run in with the Russians, he realized it was definitely time for a change. The whole lawyer thing wasn't working out for him anymore, and he didn't enjoy the work he did on the side getting rid of bodies either. Lawyers have such a bad reputation and no one likes them. Zane had finally achieved a positive change of environment, or so he thought.

Suddenly the phone next to him rang. This was his first call at the new job. He grinned and activated the headset.

"Thank you for calling IT Services, this is Zane, how may I help you today?......"
You can't get your Internet to work, well that does sound serious......
Yes sir, can you tell me what OS you're running?.........
No sir, I'm not talking about a race, do you have Windoors or Macintoast?.....
You don't know, OK well what brand of computer do you have?......
You're not sure, that's fine, does the side of your computer have any words written on it?
Excellent, can you read me what those words are?......
Etch-e-sketch, no sorry sir that's actually a toy that kids draw things with...
Yes that's why it 'reboots' whenever you shake it hard....
No sir do not try that on any other electronics....
Yes no problem sir, have a nice day....."
-Click-

Zane groaned. "What have I gotten myself into?"

Ralph walked over to Zane's desk. "You get used to it after a while. Your willpower gets broken pretty quick and after that it gets easier as hopelessness sets in."

Zane slammed his head against the desk. "Thanks for the pep talk Ralph." Zane looked at the clock to see how much time he had left. The clock read 8:02 am. "I'm already ready to go home. I got a new home recently, had you heard? And this one is actually mine legally, unlike the last ....uh, never mind."

Ralph nodded. "I had heard. I'm looking for a new place to rent myself. My last apartment came down with a bad case of burned to the ground yesterday. Ethan said he had a door that leads somewhere, and he offered to rent me what ever is behind the door."

"What is behind the door?" Zane asked.

"I don't know actually, but for the cheap rent, I can't imagine why that would be important. An apartment is an apartment after all."

Zane lifted his head from the desk saying "What if there's a brick wall behind it or it drops off into a cave or something? Does the door say anything on it like broom closet or depths of the earth?"

Ralph nodded. "Yeah Ethan said it reads something like 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here!' which just sounds like a luxurious, spacious, and welcoming apartment to me."

Before Zane could respond, Ralph's phone began to ring. Ralph hit the activate on his headset.
"Thank crkshhh IT crkshhh shhhrkices how maykrrkk help you. I'm sorrkkksh you're breakkkkkin up." Ralph then hung up the call. "If anyone asks, my phone line is having problems today."

Zane smiled. "Can I do that too?"

"You need to be here a few days before your phone starts to have connection problems" Ralph replied.

"This sucks. My last call was horrible."

Ralph laughed. "Unfortunately that wasn't the worst call I've ever received either, they get much worse."

Zane banged his head against the desk again. Ralph walked over and dumped his entire coffee on Zane's phone system. "Zane, I think your phone is having problems today, you might have to hang up on the customers if it gets bad." When Zane looked up, Ralph winked and walked back over to his desk.

A few minutes later Ethan and Nikki came walking into the phone center. They were heading over to Ralph's desk when Nikki noticed Zane. "Hey Zane, I didn't know you were working here."

Zane waved. "Yeah I just started today. I'm having phone problems today though. So the calls don't last very long before they disconnect."

Ethan turned towards Zane. "How's our old house working out for you?"

"Great, though I'm a little concerned with some of the things I'm finding around the house that you all had left behind. I found a pile of spent uranium fuel rods and what I hope is a dud torpedo. I'm pretty sure the reason my lawn mower exploded yesterday as I mowed was the result of a landmine buried in the front yard."

Ethan smirked. "Right should have mentioned the front yard, incidentally that was why I never mowed up there. As far as the fuel rods and torpedo go, I wasn't aware of those." He then shrugged and turned back to Ralph. "So Ralph, stop on over later. We can talk about signing a lease if you want to rent that space from us."

Nikki pointed towards the door. "Let's go Ethan, you're going to be late for work."

"Catch you boys later" Ethan said as he followed Nikki out the door.

A minute later, Zane's phone rang.
"Thanks kkshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh help shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
-Click-

Zane leaned back in his chair. "I can tell, this day is turning around already."